Bleacher Report recently did an article on The 50 Funniest Sports Quotes of All Time. In no particular order, here is my top ten. Enjoy.
“When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys—there’s no better feeling than to have that done."
2) Pat Williams
"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
3) Torrin Polk
Former University of Houston coach John Jenkins was a man's man and he wanted Polk and his other players to feel like equals. "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
4) Tug McGraw
A reporter asked Tug if he preferred grass or astroturf, he replied "I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."
5) Mike Tyson
“He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”
6) Joe Theismann
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
7) Shaquille O' Neal
When asked if he'd visited the Parthenon while in Greece last summer, Shaq responded with: “I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”
8) Bum Phillips
Bob Costas asked the former Houston Oilers head coach why he brought his wife on every road trip. His response: "Because she's too ugly to kiss goodbye."
9) Rocky Graziano
"I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn't spell it."
10) Jerry Rice
"I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that." 
